Something I hadn’t thought to add to my blog where all of the attempts I made during the process to assignment five. This assignment was something that became a project and works in progress from starting assignment three. By investing is a studio modelling lamp I was able to both control the light and myself as the subject.
Mood and expression have become apparent in my tutor feedback on a serious and dark atmosphere. By controlling how I placed my self and the light was able to achieve the desired look. Although I mentioned I wasn’t a huge fan of Crewdson work I become pretty obsessed by the way the light was falling onto my face. Trying to achieve the perfect Rembrandt triangle of light.
Image and Text
Image and Text lead me to think of how I could use both in a more poignant way of thinking. Had I placed more time and research with this image the text would wrap around the portrait, though I couldn’t get to grips with the way I wanted it to show.
Threes a crowd
Light can work in a number of ways when you want the image to convey thought and context. Id never wanted any of the images to be seen as fun or smiling. One I’m not a huge smiling person and two it provides more drama to the picture.
Tutor feedback received and I have to be honest I feel that this has probably been my best-received feedback where he has commented on that I stepped out of my comfort zone delivering a strong image with immediate graphic content. I feel that I have achieved something during this assignment. The idea of exploring this as a mini-series is something I have thought about but, only in thought.
Exploring a subject is something I’ve not done with any of the assignments though most have a similar concept to them. By changing my tactic and approaching self-portraits has now given me food for thought in where this assignment could progress to. Work in progress should have been able to explore a different side to this and I can see how the one idea was fixed in my sights and this is what I wanted it to be.
Below was mentioned.
The method of conjoining appears to be that you’ve shot each part separately and then ripped the images printed onto paper to assemble the final images. Importantly, the vertical paper tear runs directly through your face – maybe suggesting some type of rupture or fissure between the two versions of yourself. I say this because the process of rough-and-ready ripping of paper could also be associated with a destructive handling of images. It’s not clear whether that vertical rip is a device linked to meaning, exploring how you feel personally/emotionally about the transformation from one life to another? The question is there for you to explore further.
This wasn’t something I had considered, more by chance that I want the tear to be through the face. Understandably this could represent something of a suggested narrative. For me, it was more frustration of not being able to control it as much as id wanted through the use of photoshop. Had the tear not separated the eyes and just been a top and bottom composition, then this I don’t believe would have had the impact I was looking for. The eyes have to say something in a portrait I believe the route to the sole as some people would say.
I had placed this on the student forum to see how my peers would receive it? Although only a couple commented on it, there wasn’t anything that was negative, some even praised the elements of the image, I wasn’t expecting that.
student forum
Areas within the feedback open up for discussion where I agree with some elements. As to the propaganda and advertising part. I have to say yes to this. People have tried to portray this in the recent adverts of going from one person to another or a percentage need not apply to this organisation giving the viewer a different perspective of what they think is being recruited.
After some initial doubt and lack of motivation to adjust this assignment. I decided to go with an image I took myself during my time in Helmand. My first attempt fell at the first hurdle. In all honesty, I had completely no idea what I was writing, how it was to be structured. Most of the books I’ve read now have confused me even more. What this has done is made me understand how I need to look at what is a weakness of mine.
The image used for this is essay is not what you would say as perfect, it’s shooting into the sun, but the point is shown the interaction between the reporter and soldier. This highlights how soldiers can showcase a different side of War than the media can. I hope you can see how I’ve tried to put this across and from the interviews by Channel 4 news team. I never got to see this until I returned home. My family had seen it and was extremely proud of what we had done and in a particularly hard time from friends killed, others with life-changing injuries. Watching it back at times I feel that the media haven’t shown our best side. They can be very clever to manipulate the questions being asked in a way you only have one option to give. You may see how at times I’m trying to be as non-political as possible without saying something I may regret. They started to get on my nerves at times as you could see they had a different agenda than what ours was. Although you will see some good come from the online article there were areas they did not show. Combat is an confusing place to be in, words at times can not describe the emotions and at times the fear you experience first hand when exposed with an enemy force you do not know who they are or where they are coming from. We do owe the media at times a welcomed hand shake and at other times a stern look of discussed when they have shown it in a different way.
Quality of outcome: After a number of rewrites and changes of pictures, I feel I have come on a fair bit. I still have a lot to learn with academic writing.
Demonstration of creativity: Not sure if by using a personal image I’ve been creative as such, though it had given me a chance to use a picture I have a full understanding of.
Context: The essay and the images and film clip bring out the context where I’m trying to show how the media can choose to show what they want if they have the freedom too.
• Out of all the topics covered in this course, which felt most comfortable to you? Why?I’m always looking at street photography if I’m honest. Though part three and portraits have taken me by surprise. Being able to link both street and portraits together as been something I’ve enjoyed. Using them as layers to create a single image.
• Did you discover anything completely new to you? What was it?Yes, the jounerny of discovery into self-portraits in assignment three. Something i was not looking forward to. Through the research and practicing new techniques i found i was enjoying being in front of the camera than behind it.
• Which area enabled you to come closest to finding your personal voice? Assignemnt three and five through what I’ve mentioned above with the self-portraits.
• Which area seemed furthest away from who you want to be as a photographer? Why? Assigment four and the essay. Out of both my depth and comfort zone. Academic writing has never been my strong point, though something i need to do more of.
• What were the main things you learnt? Were there any epiphany moments?Confidence in your self with how ideas will become images at the end. Through assigment three i could see where it was i wanted to go with five. Assigment five is something im quite proud of producing now that this part of the degree course has come to an end. I never thought id be producing a porttrait let alone a stand alone self-portrait.
• Will you return to any of the assignments from this course at a later date? Did you feel as if you were on the cusp of anything? Assigment two will need to be refined before submitting for assessment. I have the concept although only a quarter of the images fit the bill. I have been out adding to this assignment. I just need this to snyc and this will be complete.
Assignment five calls upon everything that we have leant and studied through context and narrative. Something I have struggled with through the journey is establishing the context to the image. Though this project has given me time to develop where it was, I wanted to end. A single image that portrays the journey into what is still slightly unknown in my career path. 25+ years of service in the military will come to an end in April next year. It seems fitting for a portrait/photomontage to complete this course. Not something you’d expect from me from seeing my work over the course. Pushing the limits has been part of my life for the past 25+ years. At times I need the confidence to push further into new areas. Developing the concept of Soldier, Civilian & veteran has been at the forefront of this assignment, you can see that through the work in progress projects. Assignment three spurred me on to continue to explore the self-portraitures, understanding how light can control the viewers’ eyes to study the picture.
During assignment three feedback, I signposted to Chiaroscuro, famously used by Leonardo da Vinci & Caravaggio, where he would create the triangle of light under the eye. During the development stages, this was something I played with during lockdown. It becomes clear to me how light and dark plays such role in not only my street style but how a portrait can give meaning and context. Something I hope is visible through this picture. Looking through images in Pinterest and other social media platforms, at times, leads you away from what it is you have in your mind. Conceptually it may seem right to look elsewhere though at times it would confuse the situation and take me to another image something I didn’t want. The torn images have been part of this project from the start; whether torn or edited in photoshop, it has pushed my editing skills and patience to it limits where a triptych may have been the final picture.
Demonstration of technical and visual skills – This, I believe, is something that you wouldn’t have expected from me had I been the tutor. It is well beyond what you have seen through my OCA journey. It is not street photography and shows no resemblance to it. What it does show is how I am starting to understand light and how it adds to an image during the composition stage. Using LED lights to a studio modelling lamp has proven its weight during this assignment and through the lockdown phase of COVID-19. Only when you have time can you see how things work. It has not been a rush to complete this assignment.
Quality of outcome – Overall, I am content with the final image; its taken plenty of tutorials to find the answer in the editing process. Nothing is ever 100% certain or finished. I have created a single picture that I am happy to say I made.
Demonstration of creativity – This had opened my eyes to something I was dreading when I started to read the course handbook at the beginning. It is not every photographer’s idea of standing in front of the camera. Seeing the works of Vivian Maier and Lee Friedlander has inspired me in delivering this idea of three images into one. It has pushed everything I have in my photography arsenal in techniques and creative thought process, to the way I have edited the image to how I capture the journey in time-lapses, and short WIP inserts to learning journal.
Context – The Soldier, Civilian & Veteran title has been key to this single image. Had this not been the case, it would have left the viewer struggling to understand. I believe this assignment establishes a side you have not seen from me. It had at times put me on the pedestal as to whether or not I would continue the study. I will continue to research and slow myself down at times to understand the context better.
Why was this assignment so key to me you may ask? The reasons for this image is simple. So many people struggle with what is going on the world right now, mental health is a key issue that comes up more than once in a month depending on who it is and what they have done. We can have our lives torn apart at times where we do not know where our mind is. But if your talk and are prepared to listen, then these lives can be pulled back together as one. Mental strength is one thing having something to generate thought process and keeping the mind occupied is another which is great. Photography is my mental fitness, testing the way my mind works, keeping it busy by looking and stimulating the thought process. Having the tools to use to create visual art for me has been part of the journey that will continue. For those that know me I’m not one for talking about things, I prefer to produce them visually if you can understand how my mind works. Thank you for joining me on this journey of discovery.
Whilst I continue to place more study time and research in. I need to address a few things in order of priority. All the emails I’ve sent in regards to my essay have been of benefit. I’ve started to read more, little and often. I’ve even brought a few books on my kindle to read whilst the wife is shopping and I’m sat in the car waiting. This has helped in how I will structure my work. My window in my room at work has become my new whiteboard for notes and an area to place any stickiness or keynotes.
It is still a struggle to read and hold the attention without getting distracted by something like a cloud moving or a bird circling above the car.
Its time then to take a break and rest the eyes and come back to it later on. How I write is the next step into structuring academic writing. Creating something that has an introduction and structure to it. No padding it out with how I’ve done it and what I used. More of how I’ve come about this concept and how I’ve decided to edit the picture the way I did.
It is a new playing field and new rules to learn. Picture taking and creating a composition is all part of the course, writing should now support my ideas with a solid foundation with writing to support the picture and not the other way round which I have been hoping the pictures paint a thousand words rather than having to write them.
Assignment five is not that far from finishing, just the final adjustments and this should be ready to submit. An introduction will need to suggest why a single composed picture id fit for this assignment. Compositionally it feels fine, the edit lacks something to bring it together, the concept is there. Soldier, Civilian and Veteran works.
Distractions are kicking in now, I keep looking at the pictures and how Ill make this tear work better.
Ass five has been a WIP for some time where I’ve wanted to create a single stand-alone image. Going against the grain in what has been my preferred photography. Assignment three has inspired me to investigate more into myself and portraits. Not that this is going to be my new genre, however, it has refreshed my creative mind. Something that I haven’t been keen to try. As with most photographers you take the picture or create the image like how Crewdson mind works and not being the model.
WIP 1
By looking at your weaknesses you identify areas where you can adjust your creativity and try a new concept out. With assessment some time away and not knowing whether this will print or digital I have time to add some final finesse to the final image. The image is just lacking something at the moment. I’ve used photoshop to create a torn paper effect. Though it lacks authentic tear. I’ve torn the pictures myself and this gives you the desired look and feel. I just need to work that one out. This has to work to be a successful submission. It will complement what I achieved during assignment three. Like Crewdson I can see the final image, strange how I didn’t find what he was doing pleasing, I probably just need his production team to help. I’ll keep looking and reworking this picture till I’m content.
WIP 2
The picture works to some degree now, I’m just not fully happy with it. You can see the tear is missing some shadow, structure and contrast to it. I may try and see what papercraft tools are available to try and perforate the paper prior to tearing it to shape.
I recorded this conversation a few weeks ago while being under lockdown with my wife. What was strange while doing this is that it felt weird recording it while she wasn’t aware. Not something I would do and wasn’t overly keen to do in the first place.
The conversation was over the repeat of the England and Scotland football euro 96 game.
We started to go over how the game had changed, the reaction from the fans compared to today’s fans. The atmosphere from within the stadium and how we thought this was the time football was coming home.
I knew exactly where I was on that day compared to my wife. I was on tour in Northern Ireland working alongside a Scottish Regiment. You could say that the atmosphere in our base was as electrifying too.
When listening to it playback the gaps are more than likely when we have been glued to the game. The tension can be heard and excitement when England scored. Interactions between us were when my wife was trying to attach something to an email for her work. I answer short and sharp so that I’m back in the game.
Elements that the brain forgets are normally small chunks of data compared to elements that can be related to visual points. I couldn’t recall what I was wearing or what the weather was. Had this been a photograph or picture it’s very easy to recall small amounts of information from that day.
People have used various ways to recall information by learning and exercising your memory. KIMs games and how to recall information by creating a virtual story in your mind.
Using 1-10 as example you place 1 item in the story, 2 and so on.
1 spoon, 2 blue cars, 3 apples, 4 men, 5 peacocks etc this creates a story that can recall over time.
Seeing a picture of yourself can recall memories and feelings from that day. The brain is a huge data base of information being stored. Even after so many years where data can be lost, it only takes a small bit of data to at times recall the full amount of information.
Question for Seller re-situates images in a different context and in so doing allows for a new dialogue to take place. Reflect on the following in your learning log:
• Does their presence on a gallery wall give these images an elevated status?
I think from a personal point of view they do. By placing them as a gallery, people will look at them differently than in a magazine as a single picture. However, I don’t think it elevates them any higher just because they are on a gallery wall. I have seen gallery wall pictures and not given it a second glance because I thought it wasn’t worth it. A gallery wall is very hit and miss. Some people will respond well due to who the photographer is. Some will be just because of the pictures and how it attracts the viewer.
• Where does their meaning derive from?
Im not sure as to the meaning, the images seem very portraiture and not so much of a series that I can tell.
• When they are sold (again on eBay, via auction direct from the gallery) is their value increased by the fact that they’re now ‘art’?
I believe it will depend on who’s viewing them. I’ve seen many people use eBay to profit from someone else stuff. Place it in a frame give it some context or a small narrative at that adds weight and ultimately money and profit.
When anything is placed on a selling page whether this is eBay or social media selling pages. ”One man rubbish is another man’s treasure”.
Part Two Context and Narrative BA HONS in Photography OCA 